Monday, August 24, 2009
The Power of Touching our Shame
This past year I saw the most moving film about the healing of shame I have ever seen: it's called The Secret Life of Words. It deals with a deaf woman who lives and works in Ireland; but poses as a nurse in order to assist a badly burned man on an oil rig in the North Sea (Tim Robbins). he has been blinded in the fire and his eyes are bandaged so he cannot see her. She is incredibly walled off -- and yet she serves the burn victim with tenderness and mercy. (She feels safe with this blind, helpless man.) But as he returns to health, he starts to probe into her soul and care for her. As it turns out, is a survivor of the war in Yugoslavia. She bears scars all over her body from the days and days of gang rapes and torture she suffered. The scene where she allows him to begin to gently feel her scars, and he, in his blindness, begins to weep, is the embodiment of how love and tears touch our shame. I can't help but think of the verses about Jesus -- "by his stripes, we are healed", and "he was wounded for our transgressions" and "his hands and feet are eternally scarred." I wonder if anyone has seen this movie, or something similar. How did it touch you? Want to talk about it?
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So anyway, I am curious about why shame is such a major component in the redemptive aspects of so many movies, but we really don't acknowledge it's power in our cultural life. We talk about other cultures being "shame based", thinking that we are not. But our cultural shapers land heavily on the issue of shame. What's your explanation?
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued by the movie. We have a run of church-wide movie nights coming up. I will try to preview it in time and perhaps make it part of our lineup. Thanks for the rec.
ReplyDeleteFr. Steve,
ReplyDeleteSeen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrC4dHeByPM
Thanks, Fr David-- the movie is powerful. I am interested in talking about the issue of shame that seems to show up in so many movies. It is a powerful theme but we act like it's a non-issue. Anybody have thoughts on that?
ReplyDeleteShame explored in a movie could not be more appropriate. This choice, by the writers, of mode enhances shame's voyeuristic plane. Shame incorporates perceptions of what others feel after viewing our actions. Resovling shame necessitates forgiving a heavily narcisstically weighted perception of the world, and through this fog searching for the sins needing attention. I feel what I state is so obvious and fetching it may bore you to tears.
ReplyDeleteSo hear's another tacky tack: as a true narcissist I evoke guilt feeling in myself for feeling ashamed instead of, for example, working to curb my drive for food. I can skip the whole concept of the guilt based society we lack by double viewing myself enough to evoke guilt. And I might manage to never get anywhere with the drive around food and its related energy.
This energy could be focused on serving myself and others and dis-enslaving myself. Might I ask is it still politically correct to focus on guilt of the seven deadly sins and the the ability to self-correct? I do also recognize the de facto voyeuristically based shame culture that clouds over a more desireable true guilt based culture should Christianity persevere.